just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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