We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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