I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
