we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
