Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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