I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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