Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
50% drunk capacity currently
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
