Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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