she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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