I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
