When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
