Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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