There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
