I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
