I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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