what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
