Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
