Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
