she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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