You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Couch. On fire.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
