Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
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