just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Randomize
