Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I need water and some morals
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
