Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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