you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
