I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
