I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
