Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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