We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
