She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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