We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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