Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
