I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
