i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
