Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
