So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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