i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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