He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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