nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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