My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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