its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
