god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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