She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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