THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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