I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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