Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
