We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
