I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
