I didn't shave. On purpose
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
