How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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