Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
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