lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
The best revenge is premature balding
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
